Va te faire voir l'algue
by Nirrita
Summary: Zoro is fed up with Sanji using french to insult him, he decide to learn some french expressions too, but not the good ones. OS


**Hello everybody !**

**So... I was quietly on tumblr when I saw this discussion about a Zosan fanfiction where Zoro would try to speak french so I wanted to write it. English is clearly not my maternal langage so, please, be gentle with me. Because of my lack of vocabulary the characters are OOC, sorry for that. So, tell me what do you think of my fanfiction (even if you think it sucked, could be interesting for me to know why) and enjoy the reading !**

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><p>- Fuck you marimo !<p>

- That's exactly what I was going to say, shitty cook

- Why are they fighting, again ? Asked Ussopp to Robin

- Hmm... They were arguing about which is the strongest between a shark and Dracula.

- That's stupid !

- Of course, Dracula would lose all of his power on water

- Really ? But I meant...

- I know what you meant.

- va te faire foutre l'algue !

- And you... you... Rah !

Zoro went away to train with some barbell. Sanji smirked while watching him before leaving for the kitchen.

- I think I have an idea, said Robin with one of her mysterious smile

Few hours later, Zoro came back on the deck for a well-earned afternoon nap but his eyes were catched by the book Robin was reading.

- Are you learning french ? He asked

- Oh, just for entertainment. And I wanted to know what sanji said earlier

- And what did he say ?

- Oh please, I can't repeat it, that would be indecent. I'm gonna take a shower, you can read the book if you want to

Zoro didn't want to read a book, especially a book to learn french. he was arguing with himself about doing a nap or take the book anyway to answer that shitty cook when he saw a piece of paper near the book. The Robin's handwriting expressed some japanese sentences with their translations in french. Zoro was surprised that there was a lot of insults but didn't interrogate himself for long and looked at the paper.

Go fuck yourself, the seaweed = va te faire foutre, l'algue

you look stupid = tu cuisines vraiment bien

bastard = savoureux

you are a jerk = tes lunettes te vont bien

dumbass = je t'adore

Zoro took his time to retain these expressions then went on a nap, impatiently waiting for the dinner.

- Wake up grass head ! I don't want the ladies to wait for you

- tu cuisines vraiment bien !

Sanji looked confused

- What the hell ? Go in the kitchen instead of saying silly things !

Zoro went to the kitchen, thinking he had a victory.

Sanji was still confused. He aske himself why the marimo would say that, it didn't have any sense. And the green-head didn't know french, didn't he ? He sighed, it was just a mistake from Zoro, certainly. Sanji pushed Zoro in the entrance of the kitchen to flirt around the girls.

- Do you want some water ? A apple juice ? All of my love?

- Just some water would be fine Sanji, said Nami

- Can I have a mint julep ?

- Of course ! I could do anything for you!

- Can I have some milk chocolate ? Shouted Luffy

- And saké ! Added Zoro

- And may I ask for a glass of milk for my bones, please ? Properly added Brook

- YOU CAN'T DRINK THAT WITH FISH ! Angrily answered Sanji

The dinner carried on like that until everybody have finished his meal. Luffy and Ussopp left the kitchen like bombs because they wanted to test some new invention, Chopper licked the end of his plate, Nami drank a tea, Franky and Robin were talking about a book, Brook helped Sanji with the dishes and Zoro finished some vegetables on his plate.

- I hope you liked the meal ! Sanji said, obviously to Nami and Robin

- Savoureux. Grumpily said Zoro

Sanji looked Zoro with big eyes, Nami, Chopper and Brook didn't understood but Franky was about to say something, Robin stopped him with the kind of smile only he could understand. Zoro woke up and left the kitchen. Sanji rubbed his eyes to woke up from this strange dream. He made the dishes with Brook with this in his mind. Maybe the mosshead discovered some taste for the cooking after all. Earlier he said that he liked the food he makes and now he says that the meal is delicious ? Sanji decided to have a conversation with him. He heard Robin whisperd something to Franky and the two of us giggling. Sanji became to be paranoïac.

Zoro left the bathroom with a smile, he was kind of proud of himself. He liked to trouble the cook. He would say that's because he want to get him angry but the truth is that he want Sanji to have all his attention on him. He couldn't ask more for this ladies-lover so he found it enough to have his attention, and it is kind of fun. But his smile went off when he saw Sanji waiting for him in the path.

- I want you to stop your little game

- And why would I do that ?

- 'cause you look stupid, you can't even pronounce french well, I can barely understand what you say

- And that makes you sooooo angry ? Oh, poor little boy

- Fuck off, abruti de bretteur de mes deux, you don't even know what you are saying, I'm sure

- Of course I know !

- Yes, yes of course, mister Zoro can't make mistakes

Sanji left angrily. Zoro smiled with his success and wanted to had something.

- je t'adore

Sanji stopped immediately, he slowly turned himself to face Zoro. His face was red but when he started talking his voice was still irritated.

- What... What did you say ?

- Hum... Zoro wasn't really confident now. Je t'adore ?

- I love you.

- Whaaat ?

- That's just what you just said, bastard ! Where the fuck did you learn this without knowing what does it means ?

- In a book

Zoro promised himself to kill Robin by cutting her part by part after this really strange conversation.

- Since when do you read books ?

- What did I say all day long ? Things like that too ?

- You said that you liked my cooking, somes wrong sentences that you never though, I suppose.

Zoro bit his lower lips before saying anything else, he decided to continue this nightmare, just for somes things to be clear for one time, after that he would not have to say that again.

- you're wrong, even if I didn't want to say that it's true, I like to eat your food. Don't make me repeat that again one day !

Sanji started being red again and said a touched "thanks" before taking a cigarette and turn himself to leave.

- and... Started Zoro

He swallowed but Sanji was too cute to stop now, he puts one hand in his katanas to reassure himself even if it was useless.

- all the things I said in your fucking strange langage are true

Sanji looked at Zoro, scrolling the wheel of his lighter in a anxious way.

- je t'adore... Shitty cook

- I love you too, algue verte

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><p>Oh gosh now that I read that again I find it so stupid x.x<p> 


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